A Hug for the Devil


Since childhood I’ve held this belief. A mantra of sorts. A motto perhaps. A goal. A plan. A prediction. Or maybe a challenge. The ultimate challenge to myself, to see what I AM truly made of when faced with the test of all tests.

This monumental phrase, sentence or theory was something I overheard, was taught to me, or simply grew from the many ideas I had as a child… but in itself it is a very simple concept.
One sentence.
One idea.
One simple action in one moment.
“If I ever meet the devil, I will greet him with a hug.” 
Like many of our good intentions in life, this idea is easy in words. Easy in theory even. But like many well-paved plans, we truly do not know what we will do when faced with a situation so foreign and fearful. A moment of decision that can turn the tides. A moment of which we never will truly feel the weight until we are right there. Standing in the middle of our fate. Destiny’s golden whisper to us, disguised in fear.
This very moment occurred for me last night. I met Satan.
Emerging from the darkness, I found myself in a room filled with many familiar faces. Surrounded by some of my favorite people. I was thrust onto a stage in front of those I’ve looked up to for some time. Like a live, in-the-moment, unscheduled, impromptu test, with the VIP front row seats filled with the VIPs of my life and dreams.
Upon further inspection I noticed many others moving about in the shadows behind the main characters. I moved through the room toward the door… which is where I normally go in a crowded room. There was friendly banter and flattery. There was joking, jabs and jestering. A few propositions, a few challenges but I sensed it was not the energy I prefer, so I continued to make my way out.
As I neared the dark doorway where I could escape the strange situation to the isolation that I’ve been most comfortable with for so long, I was stopped by three words.
“How about Satan?”  I heard directed to me over the crowd and I immediately felt a surge in my gut and my chest.P I turned to see a dark, shady, scaley, sharp, gross, ominous figure in the corner. I am still. I am silent. I am.
It was a moment of challenge. I felt it inside, in the room and from the others. Peer pressure, environmental pressure and a self pressure that had been at my core since I was a kid.
It was not words that had stopped me. It was an energy, or more precisely an “anti-energy”. The opposite of my thoughts, my mood, my direction, my everything. The opposite of my choices.
It was a void. A vacuum. With an incredibly evil and fearful essence that could not be escaped. I sensed my own power and I’m used to my inner peace and calm in that space. This was the opposite. Yet the same. Strong. Silent. Working its magic behind the curtains. Doing what it does in the invisible realms. Equal. Ominous. It stopped my direction and made me turn its way to face it. One way or another. NOW.
It was the entrance to the NOW. The doorway of worlds. Where Christ Consciousness meets the Devil.
I want to say I was scared, but it felt in the realm of decision and judgement, not emotion or fear. It was binary. Yes or No.
I paused and turned to take in this Anti-Christ. This Devil. Master of evil, the manipulator of men, the gremlin in the machine and the voice of all our resistance. I felt the eyes of some of my favorites peering at me from all angles only a few feet away.
At this moment, my favorite technique shifted into automatic pilot and took over my entire being. The “Mona Lisa Smile” – (another blog entirely) With its power, I shrugged my shoulders as if to say “why not?” and the words of this personal mantra that I’d held inside my vault for decades, the idea I’d shared with so many over the years rushed out of the darkest depths of my soul to my head and down to my feet, moving them step by step closer to the beast.
I walked right over with the motto beating like a drum through my being.
“If I ever meet the devil, I will greet him with a hug.” 
The motto I’d profusely proclaimed and promised where no longer words, a sentence nor a harmless idea. It was NOW. It was action. It was walking the walk of the talk I had talked.
No words were necessary as I stood with the Devil. I reached down, wrapped my arms around him like a 10 year old kid, and gave Satan a hug.
Looking back now, I was surprised how much smaller he was in person. Despite his size, he was darker than words could describe in all possible ways we could imagine words being used. Like a scary, dark, (did I say dark?) gremlin hiding in the corner behind some furniture and a large lamp that was not lit up. (How symbolically cliché, Mr. Mestopholes, yet also very apropos. Salut!) 
As my arms were around him, he shrank and morphed with my energy and dissipated. Like the swallowing of a delicious chocolate chip cookie, that once existed outside of me, and was then conquered (through the assistance of some almond milk no doubt), and joined forces with me on my journey.
Those beings around me, now relieved, smiling and happy, all arose and we walked out together in joy, through the wide open & well lit, front door.

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